"Pussy" and It's Double Meaning

There’s one conversation that I have had many times, and also this last week- the use of the word “pussy”. I was talking to a couple guys at my coffee shop and I can’t remember how we got on the subject, but we started speaking about the words that, as a woman, I hate hearing men say. (Or women for that matter, but still with less distain) We talked about differences in the connotations men and women share with this word. They protested that it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought, saying in so many words that it was “a guy thing”. They said that when they use it, it was typically with other guys. They say it when their friend is being: wussy, afraid, weak, complaining etc. This is the common response that I get from guys when talk about this subject, and I understand that it is not meant to offend, but I have solid stance on the subject as well. I contest that this word is used by men in two different environments: that of male social groups, and sexual relationships. For most men who use this word in their vocabulary- it is used both to insult a friend and to refer to your lover’s vagina. Is it just me…or isn’t there some irony in that? Because while a man could say “Quit being such a pussy man”, he may also say “I love that pussy baby”. And indeed I have talked to men who admit to using it in both circumstances. The interchangeable nature of this word for some men is bothersome to me as a woman. But for most men, I know it may carry a completely different meaning depending on the environment in which he uses it. I also know that for men who do use the word pussy in this way, it doesn’t seem to even make sense that there would be a connection there. I find that so fascinating. I don’t mean to get too graphic here, but when I’ve heard the word pussy used by a man to refer to my vagina, it gives me mixed feelings. It has a connotation of both sexual and hostel connections for me. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Let's make us our minds here! Because if it's a bad thing, I surely don't want it used to refer to my vagina..that's all I'm saying. So while these guys didn’t readily see my perspective at first, it seemed that after grasping my approach, a light bulb when On for them. It seems so obvious yet it is shrouded in normality. So when the true nature of this word is realized, don’t you think it’s a little arbitrary and paradoxical? Considering that the word pussy is used by many men, (and women) I wonder if there is ever a realized connection between the double-meaning this word holds.