Gender talk

Throughout the course of the weekend observed after thursday's class I can hardly say that I participated or observed any group large enough to notice distinctions in gender role through communication. Although on Sunday I hung out with a few of my friends with whom the gender was equally mixed amongst each other. What I found most interesting about this paritcular interaction was that we all shared conversation and somewhat like the single-gender groups in class worked off of one another respectfully. These were my good friends though and we cursed and talked to each other in a manner in which one might label inappropriate. The females were as equally hateful and vulgar as the males and I thought this was funny because after reading through some of the blog post I noticed roles in which individuals predominantly followed; Men spoke amongst themselves somewhat harshly and in a way that denoted masculinity; females were hyper, supportive and interacted postiviely amongst one another; mixed gender groups seemed to have conversations that were more or less abstract, movies, nails, weekend plans...abstract in the sense that they played these roles to conform or feel more comfortable in these environments. I confine myself to these particular instances as often as they arise as much as Id like to maintain a consistent personality. Ill talk and listen in all conbinations of groups; I might not feel as comfortable in some but nontheless I find myself conforming to the norms of what my role is in that situation. This though is very broad, the workplace, school, at home, at the grocery store, etc. all of these settings ask for different types of discourse and whether or not the groups are mixed your stuck with the overwhelming concept of distinctions amongst what might be thought appropriate or not. Men and Women speak differently amongst themselves and together. It interesting how we have these boundaries of dialogue and conversation in each context.

AAE

Otha day I wuz walkin down da street n thinking bout mah ol friend jacksn. We be friends fo long time, then he don wana be mah friend no mo. Me be sad. I been feelin bad. Then I turn tha corna and he be there. He axd me wussup, I sais I be chillin, how bout urself, he sais he cool. I sais im the new manager of my sto. He showd sum respect. He sais he be workin hard , apologozin and all fo not talking for a bit. He sais I be lookin well, wants to chill soon.


Hehehe I just went all out pretending on this one. Hope it doesn’t come off offensive, I used to live in the Bronx for a while, so thought it would be entertaining to play around with this.

At the same time feeling kind of silly for trying to translate something like that.
I Also think that this class has opened my eyes on aae. My ignorant absence of knowledge previous to learning about AAE, has led me to believe AAE was less of a language than the standard. As per treating this as an ESL thing, I don’t know if it’s such a bad idea, unless government is going to use AAE in all formal documents, and Judges in courtrooms, and doctors and all other public employees are going to switch to speaking and writing in AAE , speakers of this dialect should be fluent in standard English, not for any other reason than to simpler communicate out side of their informal surroundings

Gender and Language

At work the other day, I noticed that a guy in the cubicle across from me was talking to other workers about his wife. I thought it was kind of interesting because people don’t talk about their families very much in the office. The thing that caught my attention the most was that he wasn’t making very nice comments about his wife. I was kind of uncomfortable with it, but I really didn’t care. Really, I was wondering how others would respond to him who are located closer to him in the office. Other than this individual talking, two other people, at the most, were involved in this conversation. There were not very many questions asked or comments made and the conversation lasted for probably two minutes at the most and then it either went quiet or someone changed the subject.
I thought it was interesting that this guy would talk about this, at least in this kind of setting. Sometimes it appears that the husband doesn’t care what the wife does, but in this case it was obvious that he did. It was also interesting to see the response he received from other co-workers and that the conversation didn’t last very long.
In this type of setting, I would expect a woman more than a man to make such comments. I don’t think the woman would be nearly as derogatory, but it seems like more of something that a woman would talk about.

Watching men and woman is a fascinating game.  I've been allowed into the men's world and its a different place.  The jokes are dirtier, the swearing is an automatic, and the female anatomy is pointed out constantly.  I've worked in the automotive/off-road industry for close to 5 years and it interesting the mannerisms i've taken on because of this.  I tend to interrupt the guys more when they are talking, my jokes have become pretty crude and dirty, and I swear more than most. But I am the more supportive member of the group, and tend to be the one to check up on everyone.  

I've noticed that I tend to throw other men off a bit at first when they meet me, because there isn't much I hold back.  I've been known to use terms that would make men blush because i'm female and its different if I use them.  But that's the one thing that gains you respect in the industry that is mainly dominated by men.  You have to be able to lift the heavy objects, handle the dirty and oily parts, and be able to give a big "fuck you" when needed.   But the interesting fact of it is I'm more comfortable in that world than the all female world.  I don't back down to most men, but you stick me in a group of all females, i'm as silent as they come.  I'm uncomfortable and intimidated by them.  I'm use to a very blunt and honest world, and realize that those rules don't apply with all females.

But I did get to watch as a group of guys i know as always being set to an 'R' rating toned down there language, changed the subject to a more neutral topic, once a girl joined the group.  Suddenly the talk switched to movies, and weekend plans when we had just been talking about off-roading and " the e-locker they were going to put in there rear end to gain more traction."

Gender and Language Post

It seems to me that when males are together they say all kinds of sexual and crude jokes. But if a girl is present for some reason, they can't talk like that. I think it is because maybe the idea that women are "delicate" or something like that.
I also notice some of my friends who are in relationships seem to be two different people. When they are around me and the guys, they are outspoken saying, and doing anything possible. But when their girlfriend is present they tone down their voice, talking like they talk to a little puppy, and don't admit that they think or sexual or crude thoughts.

I don't know why this happens and I am not saying everyone is like this, but to me it seems like the majority of people say things or act like this. It makes me laugh seeing it. It is literally like seeing two different people when my friends change. One minute they are talking about how they would "hit that ass" (talking about some girl they saw on the street) or how they talked to some fine girl, then when their girlfriend calls. They simmer down, their voice tone lowers and they are all nice like talking to a cute little puppy. I try not to laugh but perhaps this is where the term "whooped" comes from.

That is something huge I have noticed I don't know if anyone else sees it that way but I would like to hear from others about that.

Well have a good day everyone.

alone

There are a ton of differences in language use between genders. I have noticed a huge difference when I am the only guy among a group of girls that are all friends. They act and talk competely different than when it's more of an equal mix of guys and girls. It seems like they speak faster and louder with eachother and are way more hiper and giddy. It's really wierd. It seems that guys try to do just the oppisite when they greatly outnumber girls. They try to not be as vulgar and a lot of the times try and play the 'cool' card of being a good listener to what the girls are saying and trying to not act as hiper and wierd as they normally are. I don't know if this is with all groups of guys and girls but this is what I've noticed. I've also noticed that girls are so much more supportive in their speech than guys. In general girls love to be validated and affirmed when they are speaking and don't handle jokes and teasing nearly as well as guys. Men on the other hand, don't do a good job of affirming eachother and are often times relentless in their teasing and jokes. It's all very interesting.

"Pussy" and It's Double Meaning

There’s one conversation that I have had many times, and also this last week- the use of the word “pussy”. I was talking to a couple guys at my coffee shop and I can’t remember how we got on the subject, but we started speaking about the words that, as a woman, I hate hearing men say. (Or women for that matter, but still with less distain) We talked about differences in the connotations men and women share with this word. They protested that it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought, saying in so many words that it was “a guy thing”. They said that when they use it, it was typically with other guys. They say it when their friend is being: wussy, afraid, weak, complaining etc. This is the common response that I get from guys when talk about this subject, and I understand that it is not meant to offend, but I have solid stance on the subject as well. I contest that this word is used by men in two different environments: that of male social groups, and sexual relationships. For most men who use this word in their vocabulary- it is used both to insult a friend and to refer to your lover’s vagina. Is it just me…or isn’t there some irony in that? Because while a man could say “Quit being such a pussy man”, he may also say “I love that pussy baby”. And indeed I have talked to men who admit to using it in both circumstances. The interchangeable nature of this word for some men is bothersome to me as a woman. But for most men, I know it may carry a completely different meaning depending on the environment in which he uses it. I also know that for men who do use the word pussy in this way, it doesn’t seem to even make sense that there would be a connection there. I find that so fascinating. I don’t mean to get too graphic here, but when I’ve heard the word pussy used by a man to refer to my vagina, it gives me mixed feelings. It has a connotation of both sexual and hostel connections for me. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Let's make us our minds here! Because if it's a bad thing, I surely don't want it used to refer to my vagina..that's all I'm saying. So while these guys didn’t readily see my perspective at first, it seemed that after grasping my approach, a light bulb when On for them. It seems so obvious yet it is shrouded in normality. So when the true nature of this word is realized, don’t you think it’s a little arbitrary and paradoxical? Considering that the word pussy is used by many men, (and women) I wonder if there is ever a realized connection between the double-meaning this word holds.

men VS Woman

it was really instering seeing the result of what we read happining in class. when the girls were seporated from the boys, the girls seemed to build on each other's comments. when we were mixed it was more of a discution then building on each other's comments, because men have different point of vews then woman.
I do think it is instering that woman are labled "the talkers" when in fact men talk more then women in a group setting (classes). It is instering after reading the assighnments and woatching my group of friends, that the men are out numbered but they talk more, and in my classes men are asked to comment or read more often then woman are. I fined it fastanating that woman are called "the talkers" but men are "the talkers"

from what i have seen in my own family. Is that the women are always to be nice and well spoken no swearing unlike men they are allowed to speak there mine and in the form they like. and i have notice how guys speak different when they are alone with only other guys and how they speak when a girl is around them. they do talk a lot nicer to me they even act nicer because i have notice that they even open doors for me even tough they would never do that regularly

Male Companionship...

Since starting my job in 2002, I have been one of only 3 men to hold a job in my department. Out of 6 people in the department, I am currently the only male. The last guy Josh, quit in 2004 and I was sad to see him go. When he left, so did conversations of professional sports, action movies, cars, girl troubles, and your general mindless banter using funny accents. In it's place, talk about, well... everything - boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, myspace layouts, hair, nails, clothing and fake purses from China.

When Josh was around, there were no tears and and there was a lot less drama. There were fewer over-sharing infractions and zero instances of "girl problems." I also never had to preface a sentence with "I guess if I were a girl, I'd..."

Last Friday our department had a birthday lunch for one of team members. Again, me and 4 other girls. This time I talked even less and paid more attention to the conversation dynamics.

My conclusion - girls are different. They talk differently than men and relate to each other differently than men. This would have been a perfect case study for everything talked about in class. The weird thing about all this - I also noticed how in this situation I'd adapted to girl talk... I knew their rules and strangely followed along. It can also be said that they've "let me in."

But let it be known - I have my limits. Certain topics are untouchable and I'll be the first to remind you "we are at work."

Good night.

Gender and Language

From what I have observed, men and women communicate differently in different situations, and they seem to follow the patterns mentioned in the readings. In my classes, I notice that it is usually the boys who speak out in class. In general, they tend to participate more in class are be louder in their responses than the girls are. When girls respond, they tend to be kind of hesitant and quiet, while boys seem more sure of themselves. I also found it interesting that the boys seem to joke around and make funny comments in class, while girls almost never do. It is weird to think about how girls get such a reputation for talking all the time, and then to see that it is quite the opposite is surprising.

Gender and Communication

Over the past few days, I have been paying attention to how I communicate and interact with men and women. Not to my surprise, I observed that I act differently around women than I do around men. What did surprise me is the extent to which my communication varies when in the company of the opposing sexes. When speaking with men, I noticed that I act calm, reserved, maybe even a little guarded. I'm much more soft spoken and straight forward than I am when interacting with women. When speaking with women, I act more energetic, I am more open with my thoughts and feelings, and I am much more playful and "charming" in demeanor. Also, I am much more attentive and interested in the conversation when I am speaking with a woman. These differences in interaction seemed to apply when speaking with either close friend or strangers.

When it first became apparent that there are changes in my personality when associating with men and women, I was alarmed because I felt like these interactions weren't genuine, as if I was acting like a fake. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I wasn't being a phony, but rather women and men bring out different aspects of my personality that already exist within me. I was simply adapting to my surroundings rather than imposing something false upon them. There are definite differences in the way that men and women speak and communicate, and I was able to recognize these differences even before I was even aware of what these differences were. Subconsciously recognizing the ways in which men and women communicate is the reason why there were adjustments in my personality and behavior in the first place, but it took careful observation to be able to recognize them consciously.

I thought it was interesting on men and women will communicate differently. Men will just interrupt each other and just talk louder when the other male gets the point across. Women wont do as much interrupting and will apologize when they do. I never noticed that until we got in those groups. I also thought it was interesting when we changed the groups from all men in one group and all women in another, to half and half how everyone got louder. Since then I have tried to notice that when people are just talking. It seems that men will do a lot more talking that women. It just shows how men are socialized differently that women, men are taught to speak up and don't be a "wussy" and women are more reserved. If a woman does speak up and talk, men think that she talks too much when in fact men talk way more than women.

Watch out here she comes. . .

I frequently notice different ways gender influences language use. One example I notice frequently is in my job. My major responsibility at my job is to deliver tools and parts to various mechanic shops throughout the Salt Lake valley. About 95% of the people I interact with at these shops are men. When addressing each other, the male employees usually use a variety of colorful words to criticize their coworkers' ability to perform a job, insufficient sex life, or lack of masculine this or that. If they haven't noticed a woman is in the shop, their descriptions of each other are often much more vulgar than when they realize someone of the opposite sex has arrived. Even though the men do not stop their assessments of one another, the critiques are softened, so as not to offend the woman visitor. It is like their is some type of code they follow - words such as "ass" or "stupid" are okay, but if "bitch" or the f-word are overheard by a woman it is unexceptable.When the "unspeakable" terms accidently slip out in front of me, they are immediately followed by an apology. I am usually spoken to as some type of fragile child that could easily be broken by too harsh of a word. When speaking to each other, the men often interrupt, argue with, or ignore each other. When I speak, I am usually not interrupted, rarely receive opposition, and am paid attention to. I thought this treatment would dissipate with time, but I've been delivering to the same mechanincs for over a year and haven't seen much, if any, change. It is nice of these men to try to be considerate; however, I see no reason for them to try to shelter me. I am not fragile and have been known to curse like a sailor when in the right mood. This is just one small example - gender has an enormous role in langauge in our society and I find it very interesting.